Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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