its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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