maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
