okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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