Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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