oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
