I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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