uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize