After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
