I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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