you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
