is your mom at the bar?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
