I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
