He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
