she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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