Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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