Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
