This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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