You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize