I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize