Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
