Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
