i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
