I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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