i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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