Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
