i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
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