And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
false alarm, still single
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
