Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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