I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This house was built for laser tag.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
