it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
