I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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