So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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