I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
