was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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