i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize