so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
