If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
