Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They took my balls.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
