it's not cheating when I paid for it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
