Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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