is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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