i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize