I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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