32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
