My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
