I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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