You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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