his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
