So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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