i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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