I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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