go do what you do best...puke behind churches
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just pee around me
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
