sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
