i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
