$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
