My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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