let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
