I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize