Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
