return my video game
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
