yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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