This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we made out on top of his cat.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
